Nute Gunray's Big Day
by MonkeyTaco
Summary: If George Lucas and Arthur Miller had sex and made a baby, and that baby was stupid, this story would be it.


Hi folks, ummmm.... well..... here is a new story thingy, and I promis you, it is even worse than "Why I love Sean Catlett". Thats another of my stories for those of you who dont love me enough to know this. Well anyway. read on.... because this one is stupid.  
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Nute Gunray's Big Day  
  
It was a sun shiney day in Idaho. A Day like any other day. When Nute Gunray was sitting at his cofee table eating his breakfast. His wife, Leia Organa was cooking some delicious sandwiches when suddenly there was a knock at the door.  
  
Knock Knock  
  
"Oh my goodness, a knock at the door" Says Nute "Who could it be?"  
  
"I don't know dear" says Leia, "Why dont you answer it?"  
  
"Okay" Says Nute.  
  
So he gets the door and on the other side is his adult son, Sebulba.  
  
"Hey dad" He says.  
  
"Hey Son!!" says Nute.  
  
Then Nute's other son Mace Windu comes out of the bathroom.  
  
"Wow, the first time all my children have been under the same roof in ten years" Says Nute.  
  
"Yep" says someone else  
  
So.... they all move into the hosue together for a while, Sebulba starts to notice Nute Gunray talking to himself.  
  
"Oh, R2D2, I cant go to Africa, I know the idea sounds good and might make us rich but, I think I will be successful here as a salesman" Says Nute to nobody.  
  
"Wow, I think my dad is crazy!" Says Sebulba, "I gotta find out more from mom"  
  
So he goes to his mom and asks about the craziness.  
  
"Mom, why is dad crazy?" Says Sebulba  
  
"He isnt, he is your father, you treat him with respect" says Leia "or else you leave this house!"  
  
"Sheesh" Sebulba says "What happened to him?"  
  
"I dont know, but he has been trying to kill himself alot lately"   
  
"What?" Says Sebulba  
  
"Yeah, I pretend not to notice, but he does, he puts a nozel thingy on his exhause pipe and tries to breath in the fumes or something" Says Leia "It has been going on for quite sometime"  
  
"Well why dont you stop it???" Says Sebulba  
  
"I cant, It would crush him, if he knew I knew about it!"  
  
"So your just going to let him kill himself?"  
  
"No, if you would get that job over with Darth Sidious, then he would be happy again, and maybe he would stop talking to himself and then we could be a normal family" Says Leia  
  
"Fine, I will try" Says Sebulba  
  
So he tries to get a job with Darth Sidious, but instead steels his fountain pen.  
  
Nute Gunray does not know what Sebulba has done yet, and meets him for dinner with Mace Windu. He is really happy about Sebulba's job interview even though he was fired earlier that day.  
  
"So how did the interview go?" Says Nute Gunray  
  
"It went awful, I found out I never even had a job with him before and that he did not remember me, and that you have made me out to be this great salesman to the extent that I ask for too much money and expect to much of a position that I dont even truely know how to get a job in the first place!" Says Sebulba "And I stole his pen"  
  
"Spite!" Says Nute Gunray "After all I have done for you, you do something like this?"  
  
"He was only getting, he did great on the interview" says Mace Windu, "tell em, brother"  
  
"Yes, I did fine" Says Sebulba  
  
"I knew you would!" Nute hugs his sons, then starts talking to himself again.  
  
"Hey baby, I havent seen you in a while" He continues, talking to an imaginary Padme Amidala.  
  
Suddenly we are in Nute's mind or something.  
  
"Hi lover, thanks for the stalkings" says Padme.  
  
They start to have sex, but a younger Sebulba walks in. Catches them and then quits school out of shame and moves away and makes nothing of his life.  
  
We leave Nute's Mind.  
  
"He is nuts again" Says Sebulba "Lets leave him."  
  
"okie dokie" Says Mace Windu.  
  
So they do, and when Nute returns to reality, he sees his sons gone, he goes back home.... saddened.  
  
Mace and Sebulba get back home to find Leia quite angry at both of them for leaving Nute.  
  
"How could you just leave him there?" She says "I want you out of this house!"  
  
"No! he went nuts again, so we left him, he cheated on you when we were younger and caused me to stop caring about my once blissful unjaded life, and then he made me think I was a salesman, when he isnt even a salesman, he just wishes he was a salesman, he has to drive back and fourth every day across states just to work for basically nothing! Beyond that, he is trying to kill himself! I want to yell at him!"  
  
"No, he never wants to see you again" She says  
  
Nute Gunray comes out.  
  
"Why cant you be a good son?" Says Nute  
  
"Because you have screwed up my mind, I dotn want to be a salesman, I dont want to work with Darth Sidius, I want to work outdoors, get air, thats the only place I want to be!" Says Sebulba. "Why wont you let me?"  
  
"See! It is all spite!" Says Nute Gunray. "After all I have done for you, you spite me"  
  
"No, I don't spite you, I just dont want this life!" Says Sebulba "I love you, but I dont want to do this"  
  
"Awwww, he said he loves me, well then there is only one thing to do" Says Nute Gunray "We will work things out and I will get you the money to do exactly what you need to. My son will make something of himself!"   
  
So he kills himself and he gets some life insurance which they use to pay off the house and then it ends.  
  
Then a turtle starts to dance to the Legend of Zelda Theme.  
  
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Yep, that was Death of a Salesman... basically. I just changed all the characters to People from Star wars, for those people who just dont read the classics unless it envolves Bobba Fett or Some other alien fella. I Hope you enjoyed my retelling of Arthur Miller's Timeless classic of the american Dream. I, myself happened to hate it, and am appauled that I wrote it. Yet I was in the mood ot write, and this was the first thing that came to mind. Dispite now knowing most of what happened in the play, you should all still read the original on your own, because it is a really great story. I wanted to cry a few times...but I didnt, because People would laugh at me and call me "cryman" or "boy who is crying" or something, so instead I just wrote this. Anyway, I will stop typing now. Bye Bye 


End file.
